FAQs
Understanding Mediation & Facilitation
WHAT IS MEDIATION?
Mediation is a structured, confidential process in which a neutral person (the mediator) helps two or more people have productive conversations and reach voluntary agreements. Unlike a judge or arbitrator, a mediator does not make decisions for the participants—they support the participants in making their own decisions.
How does mediation work?
Mediation with Thresholds begins with a free consultation to determine whether the process is a good fit. If all parties agree to move forward, we’ll schedule one or more sessions—most often via Zoom. In each session, the mediator guides the process, and the participants control the outcome. The mediator works closely with all parties to clarify goals, guide communication, and explore possible avenues of thought and conversation until the participants reach mutual agreement.
How is mediation different from going to court?
In court, a judge decides your future. In mediation, you do.
Court is adversarial, public, and expensive. Everyone goes in worried about who’s going to win or lose—and no matter who “wins,” most people leave feeling worse: misunderstood, taken advantage of, or dragged through the mud.
Mediation is different. It’s collaborative, private, and affordable. People often arrive unsure whether working together is even possible—and leave feeling relieved, empowered, and hopeful about the road ahead.
How do facilitative and transformative mediation differ from other kinds of mediation?
In the U.S., most mediation is evaluative. It’s built around the court process and often centers the voices of attorneys more than the people actually in conflict. These sessions often feel like a live negotiation managed by a retired judge or lawyer, whose focus is on what a court might do—not what you actually need. It’s less about building a durable path forward, and more about landing a deal that could survive a courtroom.
At Thresholds, we do it differently.
Facilitative mediation focuses on creating a structured, supported conversation. The mediator doesn’t give opinions or push outcomes. Instead, they help you clarify what matters, explore options, and craft your own solutions—at your pace.
Transformative mediation goes a step further. It’s rooted in recognition and empowerment: helping people shift how they engage with the conflict, even when resolution feels far off. It creates space for clarity, dignity, and real participation.
At Thresholds, we draw from both models. We believe mediation shouldn’t mirror the courtroom. It should offer something better: a space where you’re supported, not pressured—and where the future you’re building is your own.
How does facilitation differ from mediation?
Facilitation and mediation share tools, but serve different needs. Facilitation is used when people need to have a structured, important conversation—not necessarily a conflict. We use facilitation to support elder care planning, co-parenting alignment, or other difficult but necessary family or community decisions.
Legal Questions
Don’t I need a lawyer?
Not necessarily. Because most mediation in the U.S. is tied to the court system, many people assume they have to hire a lawyer in order to mediate—but that’s not true.
You have the right and ability to resolve your issues through mediation without ever hiring an attorney. In fact, starting with mediation—before hiring attorneys—can often reduce both the cost and the intensity of conflict. It gives you a chance to talk directly, with support, before the legal system shapes the conversation for you.
That said, you also have the right to get legal advice at any point in the process—before, during, or after mediation. It’s up to you.
At Thresholds, many clients choose to mediate without lawyers. Others bring attorneys into part of the process. We support either choice and are happy to talk through what might work best for your situation.
What if I already have a lawyer?
No problem. Thresholds welcomes clients with or without attorneys. If one or both parties have legal representation, we’ll discuss how best to structure the process so everyone is supported.
Does the mediator give legal advice?
No. Mediators do not provide legal advice—ever.
We can explain general legal concepts and help you identify resources to support informed decision-making. But we don’t give legal opinions, tell you what to do, or advocate for either side.
Why not? Because legal advice isn’t neutral. Offering it would compromise the mediator’s role, damage trust, and interfere with your ability to choose your own outcome.
Mediation only works when participants remain in charge of their own outcomes—with support, not pressure.
Will you file our divorce paperwork for us?
No. Thresholds does not file legal paperwork or represent you in court.
What we do provide is a signed mediation agreement that reflects the decisions and commitments you’ve made. This document is often sufficient to support an uncontested divorce filing.
During the mediation process, we work from a checklist of topics that most divorce attorneys and courts expect to see addressed. That doesn’t mean every issue on the list will appear in your agreement—some may not apply or may already be resolved. But using that checklist helps ensure you don’t overlook something important.
In many states, including Alabama, you should be able to file for uncontested divorce on your own. But the process can vary widely—not only from state to state, but even from one judge to another. Especially in cases involving children, self-filing can be tricky. Mistakes can lead to delays or even multiple rounds of filing fees.
Because of that, many clients choose to hire a flat-fee attorney to handle the filing after mediation is complete. This allows you to keep the process collaborative and affordable—while avoiding procedural headaches down the line.
Our Practice & Services
What kinds of things do you mediate?
Thresholds offers mediation and facilitation for people navigating conflict, transition, or important decisions in their relationships and communities. We support divorcing or separating couples, co-parents, adult siblings making care decisions, small business partners, neighbors, and chosen families of all kinds.
Whether you're ending a partnership, making a plan, or trying to move forward after a breakdown in trust, our work focuses on clarity, communication, and human dignity.
Do you offer virtual/Zoom mediation?
Yes. Most of our clients choose Zoom sessions, which allow for comfort, flexibility, and access from anywhere in Alabama—or beyond.
We also love working with clients in person when it’s the right fit. We offer in-person sessions near our home base in Fairhope, Alabama, and with a little travel, we’re available just about anywhere in the world.
Do you work with people who aren’t getting divorced?
Absolutely. Mediation and facilitation are helpful anytime people need a safe, structured space to talk through hard topics and reach understanding. We work with couples, families, adult siblings, and co-parents in many stages of life.
Do both people have to be on good terms to mediate?
Not at all. Mediation can be most valuable when trust is low and tensions are high. You don’t have to agree on much—you just have to be willing to show up and try.
Mediation offers a structured process that helps people speak, be heard, and make decisions without escalating the conflict further. You stay in control of the outcome, even if things feel messy.
It’s not about being on the same page emotionally—it’s about protecting what matters and finding a way forward.
Want to learn more about how mediation works in high-conflict situations? Read our article →
Is Thresholds LGBTQ+ affirming?
Yes. Thresholds is a queer-owned, LGBTQ+ affirming practice committed to honoring the full diversity of queer families and relationships.
We understand that many LGBTQ+ clients don’t feel safe, seen, or supported in traditional legal settings. Courts and law offices often fail to make space for the beauty, nuance, and nontraditional structure of queer families—and all too often actively disregard identity and dignity.
At Thresholds, we do things differently. We offer a confidential, relationship-focused space where LGBTQ+ people and families are respected, affirmed, and supported in making their own decisions.
Want to know more about how mediation can serve queer families better than the courtroom? Read our article →
Is Thresholds queer-owned?
Yes. Thresholds is a queer- and woman-owned practice rooted in justice, access, and dignity. Our lived experience informs the way we hold space, challenge bias, and build processes that work for people who are too often underserved or misunderstood by traditional systems.
We’re committed to offering alternatives to court-centered models—spaces where people can make decisions with support, not pressure, and feel respected in all of who they are.
Confidentiality & Safety
Is mediation confidential?
Yes. Mediation is a confidential process—what’s said in mediation stays in mediation. At Thresholds, we take that confidentiality seriously. What you say in mediation will not be shared or used in court, and the mediator cannot be called to testify.
The only time we can break confidentiality is in cases involving an immediate threat of harm. Once your matter is resolved, we destroy all notes and records from the mediation process.
This privacy helps create a space where people can speak honestly, consider options freely, and focus on resolution without fear.
Can I bring a support person to mediation?
Yes. You’re welcome to bring a support person or advisor with you to mediation. They won’t participate directly or speak on your behalf, but they can be there to help you feel more grounded, supported, and steady during the process.
Some people bring a trusted friend, therapist, or even a financial advisor. The important thing is that you feel safe and empowered to show up fully.
Anyone you bring will also be bound by the same duty of confidentiality that applies to everyone in the mediation. That way, the process stays safe, private, and respectful for all involved.
cost & logistics
How much does mediation cost?
Thresholds charges $300 per hour for all mediation and facilitation services. That’s the total hourly rate—not per person. We also offer scaled rates for clients with demonstrated financial need. If cost is a concern, we encourage you to reach out and ask.
Want to know more about how mediation can save you thousands compared to a court battle? Read our article →
How long does mediation take?
It depends on what you’re working through. Some matters can be resolved in a single session; others unfold over multiple meetings. We’ll work with you to pace things in a way that supports clarity, focus, and forward movement—without dragging things out or rushing you through.
For most mediation matters, we require a four-hour minimum for the first session. That longer window gives us time to build trust, get grounded in the issues, and make meaningful progress—without the pressure of a ticking clock.
For facilitated conversations around elder care or end-of-life planning, we generally begin with a two-hour session to allow space for sensitive discussion without overwhelm.
What happens after mediation?
At the end of mediation, you’ll sign a mediation agreement that reflects the decisions and commitments you’ve made together. That agreement can be used as the factual foundation for your uncontested divorce or custody filing, or you can simply use it to guide future actions and expectations.
Thresholds does not provide legal representation and does not draft or file court paperwork. However, we’ll walk you through the kinds of topics and details most attorneys or courts expect to see, so your agreement is as useful and complete as possible.
If you choose to file, you can do it yourself or hire a flat-fee attorney to take care of it for you. Either way, the hard part—making the decisions—is already behind you.